Cleaned, corrected and some dialog timing improved by Tronar
Leonard Mooker of Newton, Massachusetts, asks,
"If the 1927 New York Yankees team played
"the 1998 New York Yankees team in the World Series, who'd win?"
Leonard, get a grip.
The World Series, by tradition,
is contested by two different teams
made up of players that are alive at the same time.
But if you want an answer to your question,
my guess is that the '27 Yankees would be confounded
by the jet airplanes flying overhead.
And that does it for "Ask Dan and Casey."
Dan.
We've got more coming up, including Michigan/Indiana
and a swim in the shark tank,
plus you never know when Casey's gonna freak out on the air.
You're watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around.
- We're out. - Three minutes back.
- Do you understand? - No.
- You don't? - No.
- Really? - Yes.
- Can I spread it out for you in a nutshell? - No.
- I can't? - No.
- Why not? - 'Cause I'm tired of you mixing your metaphors.
"Spread it out for you in a nutshell"?
How you doing? I'm a professional writer.
You got a spot or something right there.
Oop.
2 1/2 back.
Does 20B have film?
The end of the Michigan game?
- Yeah. - Not yet.
Jeremy, we don't have film on the end of the Michigan game?
- No. - Why not?
We're waiting for them to play the end of the Michigan game.
Yeah. All right.
Load 16 and 16A.
- Show me Denver. - Denver's up.
It was 66 degrees in Denver today.
Tell me quickly why I care.
No earthly reason.
- So you really don't understand? - No.
Then I'm gonna have to spread it out for you in a nutshell.
Okay.
I was riding the elevator a couple of weeks ago.
Riding up to work?
No, Casey. Just riding around.
- Listen... - You don't have to ask questions.
I'm gonna tell the story clearly.
The things you need to know, I'm gonna tell you.
Yeah, but I married someone once who said that. Now she has half my stuff.
- I don't want your stuff. - You say that now.
Natalie introduced me to this woman who works in the building.
Did you make a pass at her?
- Again, there's the asking of the questions. - Did you?
I don't even think people say "make a pass" anymore.
I just did.
I didn't make a pass at her. You know why?
- 'Cause you're not that guy? - 'Cause I'm not that guy.
90 seconds back.
I guess my point was that it was unseasonably hot in Denver.
- Was it a record? - No.
- Then I don't care. - That's okay.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have cared even if it had been a record.
There was record rainfall in Katmandu.
Are you sensitive about being a weather nerd?
I mean, if I make fun of your being a weather nerd, will it hurt your feelings?
He prefers "meteorology nerd," don't you, sweetie?
- Actually, yeah. - Where's 20B?
You understand you're asking for film of something that hasn't happened yet?
Thank you, Mr. Helper.
- Don't get persnickety. - Was I getting persnickety?
A little persnickety.
You're wrong. Where the hell's 16?
- 16's up. - You want 16B?
- 16B? - Yeah.
No, and the way you can tell I don't want it is that I didn't ask for it.
That was persnickety.
I heard that.
- Dana's preoccupied. - Natalie...
- Why? - Kim...
She thinks Gordon's about to break up with her.
Natalie, are you able to distinguish between conversations we have in private
and conversations we have in a roomful of people?
Also, she's secretly in love with Casey.
Oh, I want this commercial break to be over so bad.
- Dana? - Yeah?
I'd like the senior staff in the conference room after the show.
- Why? - Because I said so.
- Oh, and that's not persnickety? - He makes it work.
Isaac, at this meeting after the show, are any of these people here gonna get fired?
- No. - 'Cause I don't care if they do.
30 seconds back.
So then I started going out on a couple of dates with Elaine,
and now it would be wrong for me to call this girl and ask her out
- even though Natalie keeps telling her that I'm gonna. - Telling who?
The girl from the elevator. There's only one girl in this story, Casey.
There were three girls in that story.
- 10 seconds back. - Anyway, that was it in a nutshell.
- You understand now? - Actually?
- Yeah. - No.
In 3... 2...
Welcome back.
The horse's owner, Sheik Abdul Al Ben-Venista,
said the syndicate will seriously consider
entering Fool's Ransom in the Kentucky Derby.
Trainer Tubby Licht said he thought Fool's Ransom
could run the table and win the Triple Crown.
Fool's Ransom declined to comment.
Casey.
That's gonna do it for us.
We'd like to welcome the Four Corners Cable System in Pena Blanca, New Mexico,
to the Continental Sports Channel family.
Any of you out there in Pena Blanca, New Mexico, who are watching us right now,
turn off your television sets and go outside.
You live in New Mexico, for cryin' out loud.
You've been watching "Sports Night" on CSC. We'll see you tomorrow.
Good night.
- Music. - Yep.
- Animation. - Go.
We're out.
Everybody, senior staff in the conference room.
So I'm gonna try telling you this story one more time.
Can I just make a suggestion?
Sure.
What if, instead of you telling me the story right this second,
you never tell me the story, ever?
I'm riding in the elevator with Natalie,
Natalie says, "Oh, hey, Rebecca."
And Natalie wasn't talking to you?
No. I think she was talking to Rebecca.
- 'Cause I thought maybe you had a new nickname. - I don't.
- So if I shout, "Yo, Rebecca," you won't turn around? - No.
What about "Becky"?
Anyway, we talked for maybe 14 floors, she gets off...
- Natalie? - Rebecca.
And I say, "Natalie, she seemed nice."
Couple days later, Natalie tells me
that Rebecca really liked me and that I should call her,
so I said I would.
Couple days go by, Natalie keeps telling me
how much Rebecca likes me and wants me to call her,
but unbeknownst to either Rebecca or Natalie,
a third character has now entered the story.
Elaine.
I started dating Elaine.
Tell me I'm not paying attention.
The breakup's coming.
He's gonna break up with me.
I've got to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
- You should talk to someone. - I'm talking to you.
You know who you should talk to?
- Who? - Casey.
Would you please, in the name of everything holy, give that up?
You should talk to Casey.
That's your only advice?
- No. I have other advice. - What?
That was my only advice.
Natalie, I'm really scared.
I know.
You know what you should do?
What?
You should talk to Casey.
Why should I talk to Casey?
Casey's good at this.
- We have a meeting. - Also, you're secretly in love with him.
I'm not secretly in love with him, all right?
I'm in love with Gordon publicly.
That's why you can hear me saying it.
I am, on every level, in love with Gordon.
- I know. - Good.
But you're secretly in love with Casey.
We have a meeting.
- So you understand my problem? - Oh, now?
- Yeah. - No.
Are you gonna call Rebecca?
Absolutely.
Yeah?
I'm absolutely gonna call Rebecca.
She can't wait.
I can't call Rebecca.
Yeah.
Anybody know what this is about?
- Isaac called it. - Is there any food?
No, 'cause the caterer called in sick.
What's with her?
Nothing.
Is it nature's special time?
Oh, you know what? Bite me so hard for that.
66 degrees in Denver today.
Two inches of rain in Katmandu.
Geek boys.
Is everyone here?
Yeah.
Thanks. This won't take long.
There's gonna be a piece in tomorrow's Wall Street Journal.
Don't worry about it.
That's all.
- Whoa, whoa. - Isaac?
- What? - What are you, Agatha Christie?
What's in the Journal?
Don't worry about it.
Good night.
Well, that was reassuring.
- You can't go in there yet. - Why not?
He's in with J.J.
- What are you doing? - Waiting for him to be done with J.J.
- How long has he been in there? - About 20 minutes.
- How long have you been out here? - About five minutes.
- What do you think... - How many more questions do I have in my future, Casey?
Makin' a little conversation.
What's going on?
Dana's not fielding any more questions right now.
He's in with J.J.
- I didn't think it was so bad. - No.
Who do you think the source is on the quote?
- Danny thinks it's Luther. - It's Luther.
- Who do you think it is? - I think it's Luther, too.
- You're both idiots. - Who do you think it is?
Oh, I think it's Luther. I'm just saying you're both idiots.
Let's go in there.
He's in a meeting.
I think we should join the meeting.
I don't think we were invited to the meeting.
Perhaps he didn't know we were available.
He's right.
Knock on the door and say you're looking for a pencil.
No, no. A pencil's too obvious.
- Yeah, you're right. We need something a... - A staple remover!
Staple remover's good!
What are you doing?
I was trying a magic trick on the off chance that the two of you would burst into flame.
No luck.
Yeah.
You're 100% right to be upset.
- I'm not upset. - You seem upset.
I'm about to be upset.
- Isaac, you... - When I'm upset, you'll know it.
Yes.
"While confirming the two-hour meeting
"between Sachs and Delahansen,
"a spokesperson for CSC denied that the meeting was an effort
"to court the programming veteran.
"'Luther Sachs and Delahansen are social acquaintances, '
"said the spokesperson.
'They met for lunch."'
Who was the spokesperson?
Betty Gates in PR.
- I've heard stronger denials. - She's already been called on the carpet.
"One source familiar with the situation
"and speaking on the condition of anonymity
"said that recent friction between Sachs
"and Sports Night's managing editor, Isaac Jaffee,
"had more to do with on-air content
than off-air differences of opinion."
Who's the unnamed source?
We have no idea.
Isaac, we have no idea.
When I say something, I put my name next to it.
Luther wants you to know that he regrets
that the lunch with Delahansen became public.
And he also wants you to know
that he regrets any embarrassment this may have caused you.
Yeah, I can tell by the way he hasn't called me all morning.
Come in.
I'm sorry to bother you, Isaac.
I was just wondering if you had a staple remover.
Hey, J.J.
Hey, Jeremy, you got that staple remover that we're all...
Hey, J.J.
- Hi, Dan. - Who else is out there?
- How you doin'? - Hi.
What's up?
Not too much.
You remember when I said don't worry about it?
Yeah.
Don't worry about it.
Should I close the door?
As long as you're all on the other side of it, yes.
What'd he say?
He said not to worry about it.
Feel like doing some tape work?
Yeah, in a minute, but I'm gonna go see Rebecca first.
- Elevator woman? - It's the menschy thing to do.
It is.
I could blow her off, but...
- But you're not that guy. - I'm not that guy.
- This would be a good time to talk to him. - Leave me alone.
'Cause you can see he's by himself in his office.
What makes you think Casey's interested in advising me
on how I can get Gordon not to break up with me?
- He's not, but he'll do it anyway. - Why?
'Cause he's secretly in love with you.
- He's not. - He's only pretending he's not.
We've been through this, you and I.
He's pretending he's pretending he's not so I think he is,
but he's not, but he thinks he is,
which doesn't matter, anyway, because I'm in love with Gordon.
- I know. - Good.
But you're secretly in love with Casey.
What do you need?
This will sound ridiculous,
but I actually need a staple remover.
Leave me alone.
Hey.
Hi, there.
Listen, you have every right to be mad,
but before you say anything, can I just speak?
Sure.
Here's the thing...
I did tell Natalie that I liked you when I met you in the elevator,
and I did tell Natalie that I was gonna call you,
but then, like a day later, I went out on a date with this woman named Elaine,
and then I went out on another date with her,
and it's gotten a little serious, which is why I never called you.
But I wanted to come up here and tell you that personally,
first of all 'cause I thought it was the menschy thing to do,
and second of all because I really did like you
when I met you in the elevator.
Now you should feel free to yell at me.
Who the hell are you?
It's me.
- Is this a joke? - No.
- It isn't? - No.
I'm not that good with jokes.
You don't have to be good with jokes. This isn't a joke.
Jennifer didn't put you up to this?
- I don't know a Jennifer. - I don't know you.
I'm Dan Rydell.
We met in the elevator.
Yes, we did.
What can I do for you?
I'm Dan Rydell.
So I heard.
And... here I am.
Yes, you are.
Jennifer didn't put you up to this?
- Stop w-with the Jennifer. - Okay.
Natalie told me that you were expecting me to call you.
No.
- You didn't think I was gonna call you? - No.
Well... okay.
Wow.
"Wow" what?
Those cars are going fast.
Yeah, they're going as fast as they can,
'cause the first one across the finish line gets a trophy and a check.
- Like a race? - Right.
What do you need?
- What do I need? - Yeah.
- You came in here. - Right.
- Yeah. - I just had a strange experience.
Wait.
Why did you come in here?
I...honestly can't remember.
I'll see you later.
That woman is crazier than any 10 people I know.
She wasn't expecting me to ask her out.
Rebecca?
Yes.
In fact, she... barely remembered who I was.
That must've been awkward.
Indeed it was.
She didn't remember you from the elevator?
Eventually.
But first she thought Jennifer was playing a practical joke.
Who's Jennifer?
Who cares? I was standin' up there.
So Natalie blew the call.
Oh, Natalie blew the call in a big ol' way, yes,
but that's not my real problem.
I want you to take note right now...
I am not asking you what your real problem is.
My real problem is that I seem to have made
no impression on her at all in the elevator.
And then I was talking to her just now...
being cute as a button, thinking that she'd say, "Hey, listen, I don't... ".
"Well, as long as you came all the way up here, how about a date for lunch?"
- Something along those lines. - Yeah.
Yeah, but the reason you went up there was to tell her
you couldn't go out with her in the first place.
Right now that seems beside the point.
Does that look like he ran the caution?
No. They're moving on the outside.
Yeah. That's what I thought.
I'm gonna go talk to her again.
Okay.
I'm gonna stay here and do our job.
Is there a message you want me to deliver to Luther?
No message I want you to deliver.
Isaac, I'm on your team.
You know, I know you don't think of me that way, but I am a good go-between.
I don't need a go-between, J.J.
Luther isn't hiding out in the mountains with the rebel army.
Isaac...
- This has got to stop, J.J. - I agree.
I worked on newspapers for 23 years,
- I... - and I know how to read one.
- Isaac... - More to do with problems on camera?
That's not good for the show.
That's not good for CSC,
it's not good for Continental Corp, and it's not good for Luther.
Give him that message.
You know, I wish you'd use me more.
You know, I think I could help.
I suppose you're right.
Oh, uh, my fiancée is back in town.
Do you mind if I bring her to watch the show tonight?
I don't mind. Ask Dana.
All right. See you later.
Do me a favor, Toni.
Run that by Paul or somebody in the general council's office.
- Hello. - Hey, Don.
- Dan. - Dan.
I just came back because I felt bad about our first meeting.
- In the elevator? - No, that meeting I felt good about
until our second meeting, which I felt bad about.
Well, Dan, there's really no need to feel bad about any of our meetings.
That's easy for you to say. You don't remember any of our meetings.
It was 10 seconds in an elevator.
Yeah, but you've seen me on TV.
When have I seen you on TV?
I'm Dan Rydell.
And we're back to the starting gate.
Good evening. From New York City,
I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall.
I'm that Dan Rydell... "Sports Night."
Oh! I've never seen "Sports Night."
Don't you work for CSC?
I work for Continental Corp, so I do work for CSC, but I'm an analyst.
They don't make me watch the show.
There are people who watch it voluntarily.
I'm sure there are.
It's a good show.
Yeah, I like the part where you said your names.
- We do more than that. - I would think.
Anyway, like I said, but for this woman Elaine,
I definitely would've called you.
Well, thanks for stopping by.
You bet.
Hi.
I really do have to work here.
No, listen, I was just thinking... I really like you.
I mean, these little conversations have been kind of fun,
and I was wondering if you'd like to maybe have a drink later.
Oh, that's... that's really sweet of you.
But no, thanks.
This thing with Elaine isn't that serious.
- Who's Elaine? - Exactly.
Dan, I-I really have got work to do.
- Look, do you want... - Dan, I'm flattered, honestly,
but I'm just not interested.
Hey, you don't have to hit me over the head.
At least you don't have to do it seven or eight times.
It was good talking to you.
Yeah, it was a real clambake.
I'm gonna go scrape my self-image off the floor
and then get ready to do my show, which, um, by the way,
can be seen every night on your network.
I'll keep an eye out for it.
Excellent.
What?
I just thought of a funny visual.
I may need more time in the 20s.
- I can take it out of Seattle. - Thanks.
Don't you want to know my funny visual?
Does it have to do with the Zamboni?
- How did you know? - 'Cause you like Zambonis.
Everybody likes Zambonis.
- Uh, I think you're wrong. - There are people who don't like them?
I wouldn't say that, but I'd say that most people are probably indifferent toward them.
Do you think I'm weird?
In so many different ways.
Because I like Zambonis?
What's on your mind?
I don't know how to keep Gordon.
I don't know what to say to him.
What do you want to say to him?
Don't break up with me.
That's not gonna work.
It won't?
No. What else you got?
Nothing.
- You're wrong. - No, I'm not.
You've got the truth.
I don't have the truth.
You'd be amazed at how attractive
- the truth can be sometimes. - Not for a woman.
- You're wrong. - The truth is,
I have a job that involves me and stimulates me
and rewards me and takes up a lot of my time,
and I'm not willing to do my job just a little bit.
I want to do all of it.
It's part of me, and I am different without it,
and that is who I am, and that is who you need to love.
- Except it won't work. - Yes, it will.
It won't!
- Say it just like that. - It won't.
Dana, any man who hears that and doesn't say,
"For a woman like you, for a person... for you,
"I will take whatever time you can give me
and be grateful for that all my life."
Any man who hears that and doesn't throw you down on the nearest flat surface
is just taking up space for the rest of us.
And you shouldn't need Natalie to shove you in here
anytime you want to talk about something.
She didn't shove me in here.
- Five minutes to air, please. - First team to the studio.
I gotta go.
I appreciate your talking.
I can have that time in the 20s?
Check back with me.
2 minutes to VTR, 2 1/2 live.
"VTR"... that means a videotape record.
That's the taped intro, then they come live to the studio 30 seconds later.
- J.J. - Isaac.
Uh, Judith, this is Isaac Jaffee, the managing editor.
Uh, Isaac, this is my fiancée, Judith.
How do you do? So nice to finally meet you.
I hope I'm not imposing.
Judith, you are charming, and you're welcome here whenever you like.
Thank you.
Watch out for Isaac and the ladies.
This is J.J.'s fiancée, Judith.
- Nice to meet you. - Hi.
Would you give Judith a quick introduction
- to Dan and Casey before we start? - Sure.
I was thinking about what I said earlier.
About what?
About creating division between the show and the network.
I said it's not good for CSC, it's not good for the show,
it's not good for Continental Corp,
- and it's not good for Luther Sachs. - Yeah.
So I asked myself, "Who would it be good for?"
Yeah.
I find out that quote in the Journal came from you,
I'm gonna own your ass.
I mean, I'll absolutely own it.
They're both very nice and very funny,
and they like you a lot, J.J.
That's good.
Now, you're sure I'm not in the way?
Absolutely sure. Enjoy the show.
Roll VTR.
60 seconds live.
Jeremy, what do you have for a 30-second fill?
- What do you need? - Something that's 30 seconds.
How about a precocious little high-pressure system moving in
over the Rocky Mountain region,
creating winds of up to 30 miles per hour out of the northwest?
Or how about something having to do with sports?
Excellent.
- You talked to him? - Yeah.
- What'd he say? - Nothing.
How do you feel?
Better.
20 seconds live.
Have a good show, everybody.
She likes you in the elevator, then she pretends like she doesn't know you?
- She's playing hard to get. - I don't think she's playing hard to get.
I think she has no interest in me at all.
Got to respect her for that.
I don't even know her, and... no joke...
I... I really like her.
It's little painful to me that I'm not gonna be seeing her tonight.
You understand what I'm saying?
Truthfully? Yes, I do.
In 3... 2...
Good evening. From New York City,
I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall.
Bats and balls, balls and strikes... let's play ball.
It's time for spring training.